Fiber Diet or a Band Ligator for Haemorrhoids – Decisions, Decisions….

Now, this is one of Bally’s Secrets that I dare not share with anyone!  So keep this one to yourself.

Some time ago my husband had the misfortune of having to undergo a Colonoscopy for varying reasons more associated with a on-going stomach operation three years ago.  While they were there, the surgeons kindly decided to fix up some other issues – and we may know what that means.

To help describe this more accurately, my husband found this little gem and thought that it described the pain accurately and concisely – and after you read this you’ll understand.

“Sweet mother of Pain. She is upon my bum like a fiery dragon. This is my second rubber band ligation and the doc told me it would hurt more than the first. He wrote me a prescription for Vicodin and Valium BEFORE he even did the procedure. I was thinking what a manly man I was and how I would not need that stuff, perhaps just 1/2 an asprin or or a 1/4 shot of Jack. Well let me tell you…. Dr Procto, the mad scientist with hands like Christmas hams, shoved an Angry Devil Gerbil covered in Tabasco sauce and infected with the mange upon my chasm. This Angry Devil Gerbil goes by the name Rubber Band Ligation. The Evil monster within my colon has shredded glass for fur and glowing red laser fire eyes to help in his darkened quest for peanuts. The Malicious Monster surely has barbed dirty claws and I have no doubt was hyped up on a mix of crystal Meth, battery acid and red bull before they shoved him in to destroy my ego. He is currently nesting somewhere behind my left testicle and has made himself comfortable by shredding my nether nerve endings and snacking on the fringes of my prostate. I can not sit, I can not stand, I can not pee. I now kneel here before the computer to tell you of my plight and of my greatest fear. I fear that sometime in the near future the Nachos with Jalapenos and hot salsa I had for dinner last night may come beckoning to exit upon the porcelain thrown. If this should happen it will surely be my end, for I have endured all that the mightiest of mortal men can bear and I can withstand no more.”

Ouch.  Sometimes this is a result of many differing medical conditions and of course can’t be helped. But there are ways that we can ‘prepare’ ourselves and or bodies a bit better to reduce the chances of this happening:

  • Regular exercise
  • Regular medical checkups
  • A good, balanced diet
  • A diet that contains fibre!

The importance of fibre in your diet is crucial to having a healthy, functional colon and ultimately a healthy lifestyle.  Any dieting program needs to be carefully monitored to ensure that you are receiving the proper amount of fibre each day or you are receiving the necessary supplements to provide for that good, healthy colon.

So, if you are dieting, please make sure you are looking after yourself – and your colon!!  Otherwise, the good Dr. Procto will be seeing you soon!

Some other great tips to assist you in the dieting program can be found here.  Just follow the links.

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34 thoughts on “Fiber Diet or a Band Ligator for Haemorrhoids – Decisions, Decisions….

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